Where I have been?

In October of 2024 a relative accidentally spilled tea on my computer. No problem, it was an accident. I did not have any issues at first. I stuck it in rice as soon as I could. The problem was when the battery wouldn't recharge. So I took it to a repair shop. I had to make an appointment to meet with the mac expert. They told me once I arrived to come back another day. The guy knew something about the current repair guy. He said they would just charge me 65 dollars to tell me they can't do anything. Wah wah.

I had a friend who knew someone downtown who could replace my macbook air battery. At first it wouldn't charge, but then it started to charge again. My computer that my grandpa gave me was revived from the dead woohoo! Why buy new when you can fix what you love. You know. I am so happy I didn't recycle this computer and that it is working again. I am back baby! Haha.

At the time of doing this, I inherited a lot of work in my day job. It was so much to the point that I didn't have a free weekend to handle this. Late nights and weekends often. But I always made time for drawing. I have dived deep into drawing creativly and from imagination with some reference. I did plan to get it fixed. Don't get me wrong. Just not any time to find a repair shop in my area. I didn't have time to drive hours away to find someone. I was a bit discouraged considering many peoples resistance to trying to fix a macbook air.

During this time, I considered some inventions I had. Considering my software background, I thought a lot. That being a problem. I make tools to help myself that I then share with the world. Don't get me wrong, I wish I could make a dollar through them to support my art goals. Haha. Websites are more difficult than ever now. Everyone has done a good job of capturing and keeping their audience in their bubble. I had thought of making a free comic viewer website. I was happy to learn similar websites exist already. I think the current web has a problem of this captured audience thing.

Do what works best for you. I think we are still in the early days of the internet. Do what works best for you. But always make time for art. These days I find myself going to traditional art more. Why? Possibly my day job greatly stresses me out. Back pain and eye fatique. The action of drawing and inking calms me. I hope to get to a period of time I can be productive and reach deadlines for stories I want to tell.

I have been posting to YouTube occasionally, but my channel is hurting. Why? Because I have videos that help people but are not what I truly target. I think this is okay. I am going to leave them online. Although I have been told in some parts, I am shadow banned nor am I appearing to subscribed users. Few people who are subscribed to me watch my videos. I think this makes sense as I focus on information and not entertainment. I have been using YouTube since 2005. I had a friend who's relatives owned a car detailing garage. I wanted to make money at the time, so I watched as many informational videos as I could on the subject. Haha. I also recall a period of time Hulu was free. A few years later. I also spent a good deal on NewGrounds when I was younger. But I didn't make my Newgrounds account until 2010. Though I had been using it since 2008. We only had one computer growing up. My parents mostly used it.

Where am I going with this? Well I didn't want to buy a new computer. I tried setting up my website on my windows computer, but I ran into compatibility issues. It is a lot for me to program after work. Drawing was my main focus. My website feels like a part of me. I should also probably put it into a docker container... My Macbook Air is old! But I don't like to throw stuff away. I like to have a low footprint. New computers are expensive. Especially MacBook. I like laptops as well although I mostly use desktop's in my life.

In short, new computer expensive and I need to save money. Economy is not looking hot right now. But I have been through this before. I feel like a lot is to be said about planned obsolescence. Why can't things last longer. I know nothing lasts forever.

If I ever get to a production level for art, I would have to dedicate time for uploading what I make to some platform. Whether personal like my website or somewhere else. YouTube is not always the best place for drawings. YouTube is really focused on quick short form content or short long form content. I am also early in my art career. I want my work to be good and I want to be proud of it. As always I share as I go.

I have been doing practice while also learning. So of course I had some invention ideas. Please stay tuned for what I make. I have quite a few things I will share. But as always, I eat what I make. So I need to print prototypes and use what I make. I had been spending a good deal of time on openscad programming. Making 2D in 3D is a lot easier than 3D in 3D ironically. I had tried freecad, but it is just complex. In all honesty I struggled throughout the process.

Doing cad work was more to help with my drawing practice and career. I hope I can make it for others as well. I had debated how to best handle the patent process. Why? Well I made it and I want the ability to sell it. Not going to lie. After sometime, I would plan release the .scad files and .stl files on my website for free for everyone. In all honesty, anyone would be able to print the files using a 3D printer or go through some other manufacturer. But I am pretty sure most artists would not want to do that. Originally, it was going to cost me $150 an hour for explaining design work. I thought that was a bit too much. So I decided to undertake it.

I started with drawing my ideas on paper and worked from those as a basis. I will share those in an article. I have realized that I need to test what I make to proof it is worth it and worthwhile to use it. Being a programmer, I made tools to help myself program. I can apply the same to drawing. Cross polination so to say.

Ever since I started in the working world, I had always worked on the edge of exhaustion. Trying to compile and get things functioning before and after work. Way into the late nights. I have many failures under my belt. Thumbtastic sketcher, drawesome.app, drawesome 2.5 online desktop app. Many other inventions that I have as drawings. But I can't let myself get discouraged. Failures can way heavy. But you must try anyways and not give up. You have to have confidence in yourself which is difficult. But I did learn how to operate under sleep deprivation and exhaustion. I do hate waking up early. My eyes sting, my head hurts, the world spins. The entire day becomes a struggle.

Sleep is important, but often I think of it as a means to draw more efficiently. Much like the many late nights during the pandemic that I was programming my applications, when you are excited to work on the thing you loose track of time. It isn't that painful. Burnout? I have reached beyond burnout. Managing burnout is the key. Oh yeah and back pain.

What was I talking about!? Oh yeah! I am back. Until my laptop goes kaput, god forbid. Just because my tech wasn't working, doesn't mean I will stop drawing. It is weird to think how far out I am from 2015? As I became interested in programming for a career around that time. But the moment I stepped into a professional job, I wished I had drawn more to make that a career. Now it is more about getting my ideas out. As well as my frusturations of work and the world. Time management? Who are you my boss? I am the best boss because I get stuff done. Somehow. Lots of Caffeine. Never stop drawing. I need to make time for inking I must admit.

Recently I had also gone to a local indie comics fair. Sometimes the world doesn't feel the same since 2020. I need to get out more. So at this fair I learned a lot from artists. I rarely read comics, but I did this more as a study. three weeks ago I talked to my uncle. We realized the comics section only had one row compared to the manga section. The manga section was five rows compared to the comics row. The comics row had half of it taken up my Dungeons and Dragons manuals and game boards. I asked him if he could confirm this to other Barnes and Nobles he visits. It appears that many other stores have a smaller comic section.

I think now more than ever is the time for people to be making comics. The issues I diagnosed were a bizarre situation. It appears comics is greatly dominated by the superhero genre. Don't get me wrong, exceptions exists. I saw many at the indie comic con I went to. But I have more to learn. Barnes and Nobles also focuses on books and not single issue comics.

I have a lot more to learn but at this indie comic con I talked to a professor of sequential arts. Many manga appear to have an entire team dedicated to different parts. Like characters vs backgrounds vs vehicles or some other aspect. They are mostly in black and white as well. Western comics are commonly in full color. I have also realized the panel differences. Also, many western comics appear to be text heavy. I think this is a factor of english being a wordy language. Many comic books can't be comics, they have to be a graphic novel. This is just me, but I have read many good comics. Persepolis, Maus, Bone, Watchmen. I have much more reading to do. More to study.

Thanks for reading this. Apologies to those who subscribe to my RSS feed and why it appears weird that I haven't been posting. I don't hold any maddness to my relative who accidentally spilled tea on my computer. I kind of felt free. Haha. I should focus more on drawing and less on programming. I will blog post here when I feel like I can share something worthwhile. Lars out.

About Lars Barnabee hey that's me